Nike Golf Club Line
by Dr. John Luton
Elizabeth City State University
Merlin should have had one of these magic wands!
Okay, so I’m not really a professional golfer! But I can dream, can’t I? After all, that’s what the Nike Golf Club line of sports equipment is all about – making dreams come true! So, just humor me and let me have my few moments in the sun – instead of in the trees. Are you ready? Here goes -- I’m going to the Masters Golf tournament next year, and I’m not coming home empty handed!
In case you missed the steely resolve in my voice, I’ll say it in more assertive terms: Move over Tiger Woods! I’m packing Nike Golf Clubs next year at the Masters. And I’m coming home with the prize.
Does Tiger have anything to worry about?
Not really -- unless you’re counting Vijay Singh who edged him out this year for the number one spot in the official World Golf Ranking. Then, of course, there’s that Ernie Els guy from South Africa whose been breathing down Tiger’s neck – just waiting for another slip up. In other words, golf master Mr. Woods has little to fear from my driving, pitching, chipping and putting. Did I mention slicing? I didn’t think so; it’s not really one of my better shots – no matter how consistently I apply it.
But that was before …
The Nike Golf Club Line
Yes, my fellow golfing enthusiasts -- that was before I bought my first bag of Nike golf clubs! Now, I have more power in my drives, and I’ve never lost so many golf balls in my life!
Scottish Golf History
With my new Nike golf clubs, I’m a veritable quadruple threat on courses all across the globe – from the bonny green hills of the Scottish motherland to the good ol’ USA. With my Nike golf clubs I not only drive that little ball like a shotgun blast, I can sink even the most difficult pitch and chip shots with great consistency. With my well-paid caddy rubbing the emblem on my bag of Nike golf clubs, I’ve been known to convert bogies into bounty – and all with my Nike five-iron. Can you imagine what would happen if I took my putter out of the bag? The competition would feel lower than a peeled zero!
The Dream Continues.
I’ll never forget that first day I used my Nike golf clubs. Tiger was obviously writhing with self-doubt and decimated self esteem. The crowd thought he was swatting a mosquito, but I had a better vantage point: the man was suffering the kind of agony that only a fellow golfer could recognize. While Vijay Singh couldn’t find his swing, but I could do no wrong! The course was mine!
After I birdied the 18 th hole of a par 5, I joined my colleagues in the club house just before the start of the awards ceremony. Tiger came over and, with tears in his eyes said to me, “John, what kind of club were you using today? ‘I’ve got to get me one of these!’”
I think he was a little surprised when I didn’t even try to conceal my secret weapon, but pulled my five-iron out of my Nike golf club bag and handed it to the broken man. I’ll never forget the expression on his face. The man exuded such a deep level of appreciation and a clearly discernible attitude of renewed hope that the whole club house roared with unmistakable nervous laughter and rapturous exhilaration!
Well, friend, you’ve heard what this fine line of sports equipment has accomplished in my humble hands. Just imagine what a Nike golf club could do in yours!
And now for a sad postscript to this story:
Few people outside the inner sanctum of the world of golf are aware that Tiger Woods tested the Nike Golf Club line when it was still being developed more than 18 months ago. To everyone’s abashed surprise, and to his own golfing peril, Tiger then passed up the opportunity to put into competition play what I like to call “the golfer’s magic wand.” When he finally started using the Nike Ignite 460cc, things began to turn around for him. Now, he’s a contender again, but just look how much he missed!
Don’t fail to learn the hard lesson of golf history. Don’t repeat Tiger’s mistake and reap the same athletic decline. Get your set of Nike golf clubs today. You’ll be glad you did!
For more information about the Nike Golf Club line, visit
For even more “help” on the golf course, and in the game of life, check out this seemingly unrelated PulseMed.org site:
For additional laughs brought to you by the good people at PulseMed, visit Brian Carter’s Amazingly Funny Blog
Finally, check out PulseMed.org http://www.pulsemed.org/noframes4.htm for a few more laughs and a lot of important (and serious) information.
Author’s Golf Credentials
When he’s not instructing golfing greats like Tiger Woods and others, John Luton makes his home in the quiet southern town of Elizabeth City, North Carolina. Several years ago, he started taking mini-golf lessons and is expected to debut his hidden talent most any day now. While there is a golf course in his native Elizabeth City, John never plays on it, purportedly to allow others to enjoy the sport. Most of John’s time is spent nurturing his vivid imagination and writing letters of apology upon request.
Growing up in northeastern North Carolina,
John Luton marveled as his father told stories about his
childhood and World War II adventures. Bluebird
in Belgium relates those wonderful stories.
Dr. Luton teaches world literature and
mass communication at Elizabeth City State University.
The Lutons have three grown children.