Famous Author Releases Ground Breaking New Alternative Health Book

Brian Carter is one famous author you may not have heard of. This certified boy genius, wise beyond his years having risen from the ashes of personal crisis, this nouveau renaissance man of wide ranging intellect, famous author Carter has been called many things... among the more flattering are "America's Acupuncturist", and both "the Dr. Phil of Alternative Medicine" and the "Puff Daddy of Alternative Medicine".

Who is this supposedly famous author Brian Carter and where did he come from?

While he claims to have narrowly escaped the depressive clutches of Dayton, Ohio, experts are still seeking the truth. Current theories range from "he sprung fully grown from the head of Bill Clinton" to "he's some kind of weird genetic engineering product of the vast Right Wing Conspiracy masterminded by Karl Rove."

However, most of the aforementioned experts currently require antidepressants.

So if Brian Carter is a famous author, how come I've never heard of him?

Experts maintain (and these are different experts who don't need medication) that the nature of the universe is uncertain - all the way down to the quantum physics level, we only have best guesses of why things are the way they are.

What's more, for those who subscribe to intelligent design, God created a universe that, for Him, is beyond time, and all fame is temporary, so the only truly famous Person ever is the Triune God. Even Lincoln and Einstein are just burps in the HCl of history's gastric mucosa.

You're missing the point. Is Brian Carter really a famous author or not?

Um. Well, no. Not yet. But if you buy his book, you can help him get there. Brian Carter will be a famous author once Powerful Body Peaceful Mind is on the bestseller list, and it should be, because it's the alternative medicine book of the decade!

Book of the decade. Uh huh. Is this another one of those time is relative things?

Yes! Isn't it amazing? Did you know that space is actually curved?

Are you on drugs?

No! Why, does it look like I need them? Wait a minute! What does that have to do with Brian Carter being a famous author?

Which he's not. Nothing. Do you have any more pseudo-proof or circular fallacious arguments about Carter, or can I go now?

Yes, I mean yes I have more! He really is the Puff Daddy of Alternative Medicine- I mean how could you have photos of the guy with mega famous people if he wasn't a famous author?

Dude, just because he's with them doesn't mean he's famous.

It doesn't?

Arrrggghhh. I'm out of here.

Hey, wait! Did you see his famous author bio?