by Steve Theunissen
I was working out in the gym the other day when I see this absolute monster pumping out curls on the preacher machine. The guy’s upper arms must have been all of 21 inches. Anyway, the guy looked friggin’ awesome. But what do you think he had on around his wrist – yep, a pink bracelet. That’s right, a pink bracelet.
Now, a lot of people would think that a pink bracelet on a bodybuilder is only natural – after all, aren’t all bodybuilders a bit that way? Well, that’s what I thought at first, too. And, apparently I wasn’t alone. You see, that pink bracelet caught the attention of another gym member too – a Carson Kressley wannabe who clearly spied fresh meat.
Pink bracelet, big biceps – obviously dream material for this queer eye. So, our bent member saunters over to Mr Huge, who’s still spitting tacks on the preacher curl, puts his ever so effeminate hands on his hips and watches the proceedings, his ever so queer eye fixed on that pink bracelet.
Mr Huge completely ignores his admirer and completes his set. At which point, Queer Eye points a manicured finger at the guy’s forearm and says, “Nice pink bracelet, it offsets the purple veins in your bicep.”
At this point Mr Huge notices the fag for the first time. Looking across disgustingly he growls, “You makin’ fun of my pink bracelet, pencil neck?”
Queer eye gasps, “Oh no, not in the least – that pink bracelet , well it makes such a statement – got my attention anyway, if you know what I mean?” And with that he actually winked at the poor guy.
To me this was more entertaining than back to back episodes of Friends, so I abandoned my workout and took a discrete seat atop the bench press to see how this would unfold.
“Oh, yeah well that’s what this pink bracelet thing is all about,” Mr Huge grunted, obviously oblivious to Queer Eye’s suggestive manner, “I’m wearing this pink bracelet to get attention because . . .
“You don’t have to explain,” Queer Eye cut him off,” I’m all too aware what sort of attention that pink bracelet is intended to solicit, darling. We don’t need to go in to the reasons.”
In an instant Mr Huge’s manner changed. His eyes bulged and his veins exploded as he clenched his fists, “What’d you just call me?” he demanded.
“Oh come on, love “Queer Eye pushed ahead, “Lets not pretend – that pink bracelet has already done the job for you. Now what say we hit the showers and get out of these sweaty singlets, hummm?”
Mr Huge saw red then. He thundered out of his seat and pounced on Queer Eye, pinning him in a half nelson. “I don’t like what you’re insinuating about my pink bracelet, fella,” he roared as his bicep tightened around his victim’s neck.
Queer Eye was nearly choking to death, but still able to wheeze out a pathetic chant, “But . . the pink bracelet . . .the pink bracelet . . the pink bracelet.”
Within seconds about a half dozen personal trainers were on the scene pulling them apart. When asked what was going on , Mr Huge was indignant, “The scrawny pencil neck was making fun of my pink bracelet,” he fumed.
Queer Eye slunk out of the gym, all the way muttering, “What did he think I’d do when I saw that pink bracelet?”
As it turned out Mr Huge was completely hetero. In fact his wife was suffering from breast cancer and the pink bracelet was his way of supporting her. As it further turned out, it wasn’t the first time this had happened because of his pink bracelet.
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